sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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