Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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