ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
