I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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