I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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