Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
