I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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