p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
