Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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