Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
