Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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