a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
