She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
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He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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