3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize