Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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