My liver just broke up with me...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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