How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize