I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
