In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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