who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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