what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
