Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
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I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
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She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize