***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
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You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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