i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
