dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
