I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
