turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
