Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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