i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
