the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
