btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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