New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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