I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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