I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i dont even know how to be here
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
