How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
