Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How does one acquire holy water?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
