Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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