before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
