She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
