Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
