Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
