im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
