I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
