Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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