No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
