i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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