it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
