yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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