I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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