I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
