is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
