As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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