Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
we're making bets on your personal life
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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