Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my being single is dangerous.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
