she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.