dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just google imaged poop.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.