you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?