If i come over, it means nothing
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
