Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize