We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
